Sunday, November 01, 2009

GOD IS FOUND...

... it's Google!
You don't believe me?

Let "googlism" give you a proof:

The Church of Google (no kidding!) believes that Google is the closest that humankind ever come to directly experiencing an actual "God".

Their Statement:
"
We reject supernatural gods on the notion they are not scientifically provable. Thus, Googlists believe Google should rightfully be given the title of "God", as She exhibits a great many of the characteristics traditionally associated with such Deities in a scientifically provable manner."And they have proof!

» PROOF #1

Google is the closest thing to an Omniscient (all-knowing) entity in existence, which can be scientifically verified. She indexes over 9.5 billion WebPages, which is more than any other search engine on the web today. Not only is Google the closest known entity to being Omniscient, but She also sorts through this vast amount of knowledge using Her patented PageRank technology, organizing said data and making it easily accessible to us mere mortals.

» PROOF #2

Google is everywhere at once (Omnipresent). Google is virtually everywhere on earth at the same time. Billions of indexed WebPages hosted from every corner of the earth. With the proliferation of Wi-Fi networks, one will eventually be able to access Google from anywhere on earth, truly making Her an omnipresent entity.

» PROOF #3

Google answers prayers. One can pray to Google by doing a search for whatever question or problem is plaguing them. As an example, you can quickly find information on alternative cancer treatments, ways to improve your health, new and innovative medical discoveries and generally anything that resembles a typical prayer. Ask Google and She will show you the way, but showing you is all She can do, for you must help yourself from that point on.

» PROOF #4

Google is potentially immortal. She cannot be considered a physical being such as ourselves. Her Algorithms are spread out across many servers; if any of which were taken down or damaged, another would undoubtedly take its place. Google can theoretically last forever.

» PROOF #5

Google is infinite. The Internet can theoretically grow forever, and Google will forever index its infinite growth.

» PROOF #6

Google remembers all. Google caches WebPages regularly and stores them on its massive servers. In fact, by uploading your thoughts and opinions to the internet, you will forever live on in Google's cache, even after you die, in a sort of "Google Afterlife".

» PROOF #7

Google can "do no evil" (Omnibenevolent). Part of Google's corporate philosophy is the belief that a company can make money without being evil.

» PROOF #8 According to Google trends, the term "Google" is searched for more than the terms "God", "Jesus", "Allah", "Buddha", "Christianity", "Islam", "Buddhism" and "Judaism" combined. God is thought to be an entity in which we mortals can turn to when in a time of need. Google clearly fulfils this to a much larger degree than traditional "gods", as shown in the image below » PROOF #9

Evidence of Google's existence is abundant. There is more evidence for the existence of Google than any other God worshiped today. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. If seeing is believing, then surf over to www.google.com and experience for yourself Google's awesome power. No faith required. source: http://www.thechurchofgoogle.org/Scripture/Proof_Google_Is_God.html ______________ The question of... holidays?
Yep- the Google Appreciation Day is on 14th of September- a very important day for the memebers of the Google Church, because that was the day when Google.com was registered.
______________

Got interested? Or even a believer? Then here are more Links that could interest you:

  • Hatemails the Church of Google received (hillarious!)
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I love those people :D

Sunday, October 11, 2009

The day when Jörg Haider died

Exactly today, one year ago, Jörg Haider, the governour of Kärnten (a federal state of Austria), died. Well, if he just had only been the goverment of Kärnten, I would see no reason to write about it, but unfortunately he reached international 'popularity' with partly awful statements, that affected our country, including it's international reputation.
I remember that one year ago Irem made a blog post about him, and that she was surprised that I hadn't written anything. The reason was, that I didn't feel really like doing that, as I know that 'death' as such always clouds your judgement. You tend to make things nicer as they are, just out of a strange habit called 'respect'. As people in our country (and very especially in Kärtnen) were absolutely crazy right after the accident, I could see many such tendencys. Old enimies of Haider suddenly became friendly and even worshipped his doing, for the country and Kärnten. Others actually said nothing about him. Just not offending the death. They might come back.
Now, one year later, Haiders spirit still hasn't disappeared- and slowly it becomes really annoying. As you my friends and readers mostly live abroad (lucky you) you would not have recognized (if you were lucky) all that crazy things around the accident, which I actually don't want to explain too much in detail. But a few rumors make that necessary.
On 11th of October 2008 (and I will never forget that date. Not because of Haider, hell no, but my matura prom was a that time.) at around 1:15 (don't nail me on those times, i have no idea if it might have been an our later or a half, i just say about times. it wouldn't cost me a minute to check it, but i don't spend that minute at such unimportant details. At least they are not important for my story here) Haider was driving with his VW Phaeton at the Rosental Bundestraße in a village that was called Lambichl. 70 km/h were allowed- but his car speeded with 141 km/h. He overtook another car, didn't get the corner and his car overturned for several times before it crashed into a concrete column. The car was a total damage. Haider sufferend from a torn brainstem and several other deadly injuries. The doctor of the ambulance that arrived only 10 minutes later (called by the driver of the overtaken car) could only ascertain the governour's death. However, he was brought to the hospital, where his closest political partners and his family were called to, to say goodbye.
It is quite hard to explain what happened then. Slowly Austria awoke, and the people of Kärnten found out that their governour had had an accident, that had cost his life. And Austria was set unter exceptional circumstances. The news were full of Haider, more popular than through his lifetime. When I checked several international news, as i often do, I found articles (and not just 5- lines notes) about him even at CNN and BBC. Not to talk about actually all european countries and also arabian ones, where he had strong contacts to. (on the left you see Sayd Gaddafi, son of the libyan leader, on Haiders funeral)
Hundreds and thousands of people actually pilgered to the place of accident and laid down pictures and candles (poor abutters).
Then the shock for the Haider fans: The governour had 1,8 per mille of alcohol in his blood. That was actually the time when people started with conspiracy theories. For many people, in Kärnten, but also in the rest of Austria, Jörg Haider was the messiah in person. He was one of those politicals who could promise someone heaven and earth, and people actually believed in it. He was a good talker and he could move the masses, you always knew somehow that he was not completely clean, but you never could prove anything- and that actually was the thing that made him so dangerous. He was the clean man with the white jacket, who was here to save the world.
And now he was dead, by a car accident caused by himself. By his fault. Too fast. And 1,8 per mille alcohol in his blood. The governour. The clean man with the white jacket. The messiah. Puff- and fallen.
Okay, as you are clever people, you know that can't be the end of the story. That people said: "Ah yeah, he made a mistake, that even put other people in danger, and now he's dead." And then went back to work and to normal life.
No, that wouldn't be Austria.
Instead they said: Impossible. Haider would have never done this [... blabla, i will save you from that senseless talking...] It must have been murder!
*sigh* wasn't it obvious? Ayrton Senna, (and I really like him, you all know that) Lady Diana, whoever... it never could have been a normal accident. It always was any conspiracy. A murder. Why is it so hard to accept that even people who might be charming and whatever, are included to normal accidents, included with normal people, that make mistakes, as every other human being as well. That's what we all are: Human. No matter if we are called Ayrton Senna, Lady Diana, Jörg Haider or Mr. Normal. We have all one thing in common. We die. Ones sooner, ones later, ones too soon, ones... (ok, i won't say that now)- but we all die.
Although it was proved for at least million of times that it simply was an accident, nobody could stop the conspiracy- people who will always find fans. A german journalist even wrote a whole book about the 'truth' and the 'obvious' that Haider was killed. In a few years that might be interesting fiction, but at the moment it is just idiotic- and people actually believe it.
(and then there are also those funny people who say that Haider is actually not dead, but that his accident was only pretended, and that he now lives far away on any island... whatever... this is so crazy, that fortunately not a lot of people believe in this theory. But as we can see on this example: there are idiots everywhere).
When anybody thought the Haider- mania would go down sooner or later, didn't calculate the politicans into that. Especially Haiders party- mates from the BZÖ (Bündnis Zukunft Österreich = Alliance for the Future of Austria), the right- populistic party that Haider formed himself in 2005, when he split the FPÖ (Freedom Party) into two pieces., where interested in 'keeping Haider alive'- for obvious reasons: Haider was the head, the heart and the soul of this party. Without him it was absolutely impossible to make it going on. And so they pretended like they wanted to 'lead on' Haiders ideas and his heritage- whatever they are.
Scary but true: it worked. The BZÖ reached 34% of all votes in the federal elections of Kärnten his year in spring. The people actually voted for a dead person. (poster on the right: We care for your Kärnten. Guaranted).
That is Kärnten. In the rest of Austria, the BZÖ never reaches the 4% that are necessary for entering the federal parliarments. (Upper Austrian federal elections, 27th of September 2008: BZÖ got 2,8 % of all votes, one of their slogans was: "Because SHE knows what HE wanted WE know what we have in HER)- SHE is Jörg Haiders sister, Ursula Haubner, and the poster was obviously including her brother.).
Just 2 weeks before his death, Jörg Haider was able to get 12,8% of all votes nationwide at the national elections. Now it seems to be, that the BZÖ is going to be dead, just as Haider.

At least I hope so.

While the rest of Austria went back to normal, in Kärnten this seems to be impossible. A Haider museum, a Haider bridge (picture), a Haider park, a Haider memorial (I'm not kidding, that is too serious to make fun of)- only the beatification is missing (I bet the pope already got requests for that) up t the 'glourious idea' to make Haiders widow Claudia, who never had anything to do with politics, their party leader... if that just had been anything... they even wanted to make her a candidate for the president of Austria.

Well I guess now you think: If it is going that far... when will they forget him?
Hard to say. Probably never.
One thing i am certain of: Haider is dead. He had an accident. And now go to sleep and don't think about it anymore. That chapter is closed for me, and interests me as much as if a bike falls down in China, I paid my debts.
I wish Kärnten to wake up from their dream about their messiah and better go to work on the budget defficit, that Haider left for them. Because since he was governour there, the people of Kärnten have the highest per- capita debts of whole Austria. Haider might have given them what they wanted to live in their carinthian island of paradise. But nothing is for free in life.

And now we know what Haider's heritage is: A Party that has no future, a folk that glorifies their messiah (Haiderism.. why not... wouldn't be the first time) and a huge lack of money.

Get a life, guys.


Wednesday, October 07, 2009

A little Sound of Music

Thanks to Lora for posting this video on Facebook- Lots of people seem to come randomly together to dance to "Do Re Mi", a song of "The Sound of Music" in the Central Station of Antwerp, Belgium.